2018

So it's been a quick minute ;) Sorry for leaving to whoever who cared enough to read my posts. It's been like 3 years? I'm 18 now wooohooooooo (sad lowkey) I guess my text style has changed if you haven't noticed. A lot has happened over the years but nothing that I couldn't come out of (at least I hope not). What do you want me to say? I could spend hours just typing out all of my feelings and thoughts but they're all so cluttered in my mind that I can't even think of one to say right now. Well.. there's this one person that I am in love with but we shan't go into that too much. Let's just say that due to circumstances, we can't be together and I don't really know how he feels for me.. confused by the whole thing actually. I've just started to live a clean and healthy lifestyle. Kind of sucks tbh I hate giving up the one thing that has comforted me for years- good junk food; but I guess that if I want to grow, I have to go out of my comfort zone and find other alternatives to being comfortable which are healthy and better. I start College in a month and I am pretty scared, you know. I am gonna have to dedicate 4 years of my life towards my passion and the thing that scares me the most is actually being successful. I have the strong passion and desire and I just don't want to see myself fail. I'm pretty lonely nowadays too... no one in real life seems to be sparking any interest in me. I think I have a problem socialising with people I meet in real life because I am barely interested in any of them romantically. They would just be temporary feelings until I get bored and move on. A distraction? hmmm I wish I could find someone that gives me that feeling. I haven't felt that feeling since I was 15 tbh, when I had my first love. It's pretty stupid but eventhough the person was online, I felt a more real connection than any of the guys I've been with. Maybe I'm just scared to give real relationships a try. Something so serious is bound to be destroyed in today's world. Anyway, no one has made me want to try something serious with them. I would think so until they just stop giving a shit about trying new things or talking about things that I would've never have thought about to discuss... New things that seem to open up my thinking and mind always make me feel a certain way and no guy in real life has been that socially open. Am I too picky? The answer is no. I know what I want and till then, I'm not going to succumb anymore to settling for less. I used to always be that girl that would date a guy I'd see potential but that can't be the right thing to do anymore. He HAS to be potential-material now and not possibly in the future. I shouldn't be wanting to change a man for my own benefit. It's either I find him or I just don't entertain. Anyway enough serious talk. I've been pretty good. I love typing on this laptop. I got a ps4 and I've been playing call of duty ww2 almost every day till late at night (unhealthy I know and I haven't done that in 2 days so far). If you want to add my psn it's reignwolf13 Until next time - Sharwini